i am quotes funny

Sunday, August 7, 2022 Edit

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. I found there was only one way to look thin.

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Let the world see your pearly whites.

. Free shipping on qualified orders. When Im feeling down someone says suck it up I get the urge to break their legs and say walk it off. Strangers think Im quiet my friends think Im outgoing but my best friends know that Im completely insane.

Heidi Nelson Colon and Rectal Surgeon. I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. Your secrets are safe with me.

Lailah Gifty Akita. Dont let life win without a fight. You know youve reached middle age when youre cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.

Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot brilliant funny woman who adores football poker dirty jokes and burping who plays video games drinks cheap beer loves threesomes and anal sex and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like shes hosting the worlds biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2 because Cool Girls are above all hot. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot but I always found them. There are only three things that women need in life.

Just because I rock doesnt mean I am made of stone. Best of Funny Inspirational Quotes. Rice is great when youre hungry and you want 2000 of something.

Dear Sunday please dont leave me. The difference between genius and stupidity is. Food water and compliments.

List 100 wise famous quotes about I Funny. Genius has its limits. I am a gay writer but I am also a Scottish writer and some days a lazy writer or a funny writer.

I wasnt even listening. Smile while you still have teeth. Yes I am weird weird is good.

317 Best Instagram Captions for Friends. There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. Its so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage shipping and.

Its not true that I had nothing on. 21st of 60 Funny Motivational Quotes. Youre in mint condition for a vintage model.

He wiped away her tears and accidentally her eyebrows too. Hard times will always reveal true friends. Age is of no importance unless youre a cheese.

Milne Winnie The Pooh. I give myself sometimes admirable advice but I am incapable of taking it. Best friends eat your lunch.

When life knocks me down I just get back up and say is that all you got Unknown. After 30 a body has a mind of its own. I had the radio on.

Common sense is like deodorant. Its just that in person Im not quite the way I am on paper. People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day.

Even if you are on the right track youll get run over if you just sit there. Ad Enjoy low prices on earths biggest selection of books electronics home apparel more. Friends buy you lunch.

Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Free easy returns on millions of items. If youre going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it you might as well laugh about it now.

Life is a blank canvass and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. But youre not as old as youre going to be. Just when I think I have all my ducks in a row one of the fluffy fuckers wanders off gets into some shit.

Hang out with fat people. You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it. You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Marilyn Monroe American Actress Model-Singer. I am a queen because I know how to govern myself. Dear Math please grow up and solve your own problems Im tired of solving them for you.

The people who need it most never use it. The secret of staying young is to live honestly eat slowly and lie about your age. I always wanted to be somebody but now I realize I should have been more specific.

The trouble with having an open mind of course is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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